The Rules of Estrangement by Kathy

It seems to me that fanfic audiences (and probably audiences in general) love it when a bright, sassy young thing sharpens her wit on a proud, reserved, filthy rich man, especially when the two eventually fall in love and end up in marital bliss. At least, that’s what most of the stories in this fandom seem to suggest. Kathy takes a bit of a different turn in The Rules of Estrangement, and asks instead what would happen to everyone’s favorite couple if life after the wedding were not so blissful.

After several years of estrangement from her husband, Elizabeth returns to her family at Longbourn. When her husband shows up, as well, she’ll find that keeping to the rules of estrangement are not as easy when you aren’t estranged.

Why you might like it: The plot stays close to the original, even repurposing Austen’s prose in some segments, and it’s nice to see that even the most beloved couple in Austenland might conceivably have some difficulties communicating and trusting each other after their marriage.

Why you might not like it: If you’re a fan of language, grammar, and the like, and you generally appreciate it when an AU reuses relevant canon plot points to create an interesting commentary on the original, move along. This is not the story for you.

Regency, AU, General, at DWG

The plot, in brief: Elizabeth and Darcy meet and marry before the events of the novel. But! In the midst of marital difficulties, that wily villain, Mr. Wickham, appears. After orchestrating some shady business in front of an always-ready-to-assume-the-worst Lady Catherine, Darcy returns, only to witness Wickham putting the moves on Elizabeth. Darcy is furious, and Elizabeth rides off under the cover of night. (Seriously. She does.) Husband and wife meet again two years later in Hertfordshire, when Mr. Bingley brings his entourage to Netherfield. This is where our tale begins.

Sadly, it’s also the point at which I lost interest.

At one point, the narrator says this: “she was confused about the lady’s full intent in speaking with her and the meaning behind the story she had shared.” That pretty much sums up my reaction to the story.

Now, to illuminate the reasons why this story earned a two-quill rating and because I love to lecture, I give you:

Miss Kenton’s Rules for AU Stories:

#1: Above all, coherence!

Lest you think I’m completely heartless, let me begin by saying that I’m willing to take a lot in stride when I read AU stories. However. As an author, you can at least help me out by making the plot coherent, especially when you’re laying your AU over the original story, which is supremely plotted.

For instance, in The Rules of Estrangement, we’re told that Elizabeth (who married Darcy when she was young and left him after he suspected her of adultery), has “met all his friends.” So why is she so surprised (she nearly faints) to see Darcy show up in Hertfordshire with his BFF Charles Bingley? The gossip has reached her via her mother and sisters, and Bingley has even visited their house, so she shouldn’t be astonished—unless, of course, Darcy and Bingley became friends in the two or so years after she left. It’s never explained, so we’re left to assume that Elizabeth doesn’t know Bingley. And you know what happens when you assume…

#2: Characters are essential.

I’m happy to consider character departures, on their own, as alternate universe stories. When the characters behave erratically, or just out of character for no given reason, though, that’s not an AU. In The Rules of Estrangement, there are too many moments of unexplained behavior, from too many characters, to consider this story more than a situation departure with poor character development.

Charlotte lectures an already-married Elizabeth on how Jane can best secure Mr. Bingley’s affection. Mr. Collins still arrives to visit Longbourn, when Lady Catherine knows that the family is that of her nephew’s estranged wife. Wickham spreads gossip about Darcy while they are both residents of the same neighbourhood. Darcy fights a duel.

Maybe it seems picky, but every time a character acts in an inexplicable way, readers (like me) pause and ask: “Huh?” This is not a good reaction.

#3: Accuracy, if you please.

Would Elizabeth Darcy really saddle a horse and ride it from Derbyshire to London? Would she do this in the middle of the night? Would she raise her son without the help of a nursemaid?

Would Charles Bingley really hide the existence of a son from his best friend, Mr. Darcy, even when, by law, a child is Mr. Darcy’s property?

Would Caroline Bingley really go after Mr. Darcy as though he were a single man of large fortune?  Would she not know that he was married, especially given the prevalence of gossip in Meryton? Would she really make snide comments about and to Mr. Darcy’s wife?

I suspect the answer to all of these questions is no.

#4: Mind your language, forsooth!

I understand, the somewhat more formal language of Regency novels is difficult to capture, especially when writing about children. Yet I’m fairly certain that “needing more outside time than inside” is not a Regency expression. In this story, especially, when large chunks of the prose are taken from the original text, it is much more noticeable when the style abruptly changes. Also, some editing would have helped eliminate awkward phrasing and grammatical mistakes throughout.

#5: Make it believable.

The Rules of Estrangement isn’t an atrocious story, and it even works with an interesting premise. Yet it doesn’t follow up on its implicit promise. There are a few well-written moments where I truly believed that these were two lovers whose misunderstandings kept them separate. There just weren’t enough to convince me that the two were still in love after everything they’d been through. By the end, I wasn’t decided on whether to hope for a continued estrangement or a dramatic reunion.

Though it has it starts off with a promising idea and even works in some nice moments between the two protagonists, and despite how hard I tried to like it, The Rules of Estrangement just ends up breaking all the rules.