Firstly, a note of thanks to my inimitable colleague Miss Kenton, for graciously taking my place in the roster last week. Madam, I am in your debt.

And now, to the review!

Disenchanted by Kara

As a fantasy/sci fi fan in general, I am always eager to partake of Austen fanfiction that takes us to an alternate universe of that genre. Disenchanted is just such a one: a Regency/fantasy retelling of Pride and Prejudice. There is magic! Mages! Shakespearian Codes! How delicious.

Why you should read this: Mystery and adventure and romance! Kara acknowledges being inspired by the final Harry Potter book, but has created her own universe with her own ideas about magic. Having never read any Harry Potter, I cannot say how original her creation is; however, original or not it’s compelling. The magic plot gives a new and interesting twist on the relationships and ambitions of various characters, as well as the manner in which certain familiar aspects of the original take place.

Why you might not like it: There are certain assumptions made in the beginning of the story that might be considered more fanon than canon interpretations. It’s in need of some extensive editing. And there are entirely too many parentheses altogether.

Regency, Fantasy, PG-13, at DWG

This story is great fun, and is one of the few Pride and Prejudice stories that I have actually read for the plot. Which is good, because the writing is, unfortunately, sub-par. The plot is well-constructed, the dialogue interesting and believable, but the execution in terms of grammar and general cohesion is its downfall. The opening scenes feel rushed in order to get to the later plot developments, scenes end abruptly where expansion would serve the story better, and one is occasionally required to interpret what the author means, as what she has written makes no sense (though I’m afraid Google Translate was of no assistance in those cases).

One has the impression that the author was so eager to impart her tale that she decided to speed through canon, inserting direct quotations willy-nilly and even occasionally leaving important pieces out. There is a certain carelessness to the writing. For example:

Her enjoyment would have been guaranteed, were it not for two things: the irksome and now pointed attentions of Mr. Collins, her father’s poor spirits, and the presence of Mr. Darcy.

One is not a math major, but one believes that sentence to contain three things.

Happily, all of this would be overcome with a vigorous edit. And the story is saved from these stumbles due to the strength of Kara’s writing when she branches off into her own interpretation of events. “And what are those, Oofy?” I hear you ask. Do not be offended, gentle reader! The nature of the story makes it difficult to summarise without spoiling any of the twists and turns ahead. Have the opening paragraphs as a little taste to whet your appetite, instead.

HERTFORDSHIRE is not known for its magic. At least, not the kind that was considered modern, effective, or quality. There were two or three schools that boasted of teaching “advanced methodology in wizarding and the magical arts,” but anyone who was anybody knew that was only a fancy way of saying that the local farmer’s sons would learn to grow magically enhanced pumpkins, and the farmer’s daughters learned to keep their hair up in styles that would hold fast throughout an evening’s festivities.

Even amongst the more genteel population of the county, magical abilities seemed to evade their families. There was an apothecary rather talented at bringing down high fevers, and delivering healthy babies (for which he was greatly revered), and a lawyer who never seemed to lose a case. All of the gentleman’s daughters with any slight ability knew a few methods of charming, in order to better snatch rich husbands. Such behavior was widely encouraged by the mothers of the county, and none more so than one Mrs. Bennet. It was rumored that she held the secret to a particularly effective love potion (how else had she, a nobody’s daughter in trade, gotten Mr. Bennet all those years ago?). Love potions were never permanent, and this one was purported to last three months at least. However, the validity of this rumor had been called into question over the past few years more and more frequently, due to the fact that Mrs. Bennet had five eligible daughters, and none of them yet married.

Isn’t it charming? I’ve used that word before, but I can’t help it! I am charmed! (See, it’s a story about spells and potions and… Okay, you get it.)

One of the most admirable aspects of Disenchanted, and one that separates it from many other stories, is that the differences in the relationships between characters–particularly between Elizabeth and Darcy–develop naturally from the divergent circumstances in which the story takes place. It wouldn’t make sense to attempt to force them into an exact parallel of the original, and Kara has wisely chosen not to attempt it. Instead of artificially recreating the original conflicts, she allows the characters to react and interact in ways that are meaningful within this universe.

The most significant divergence from canon occurs at Hunsford and propels the plot from there. It follows that the action in this story is on a grander scale than in Pride and Prejudice. And although much of it is described rather than witnessed, it makes for an exciting reading experience.

On a final note, Kara provides some interesting twists on members of the elder generation. The marriage of Mr and Mrs Bennet, in particular, is at the heart of the mystery. In fact, I was most pleasantly surprised by the characterisation of Mr Bennet in general. (One is not especially fond of Mr Bennet in the original. One has opinions about him.)

In conclusion, Disenchanted is a grand and fantastical adventure that reveals some very particular notions about love and human motivation. I like it very much indeed. Alas, though I would like to give it four quills, I find that I cannot. Its structure is simply too shaky.